The Law of Connection

Law #10 of John Maxwell's The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership is:
The Law Connection: Leaders Touch a Heart Before They Ask for a Hand.

“The stronger the relationship and connection between individuals, the more likely the follower will want to help the leader.” Maxwell notes with this law that, in order for a leader to be effective, s/he needs to connect with people. “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Guidelines for Connecting:
1. Connect with yourself: You need to know and have confidence in yourself. People do not want to follow an unsure leader. Be confident and be yourself. If you do not believe in who you are and where you want to lead, work on that first [before doing anything else].
2. Communicate with openness and sincerity: People can sense insincerity.
3. Know your audience: Take time to know their names and find out about their histories. Find out about their dreams/goals. Speak to what they care about.
4. Live your message: This is most important. It builds credibility; hypocrisy weakens it.
5. Go to where they are: You need to adapt to them [not the other way around]. Try to relate to them based on their culture, education, background, etc.
6. Focus on them, not yourself: You will always connect faster when you focus on the other person, in any relationship [business or personal]. Focusing too much on him/herself is the biggest problem of inexperienced speakers and leaders.
7. Believe in them: “It’s one thing to communicate with others because you have something valuable to say, it’s another to communicate with them because they have value. People’s opinion of us has less to do with what they see in us than it does with what we can help them see in themselves.”
8. Offer direction and hope: While, people expect leaders to help them get to where they need to go, giving them hope is what gives a future.

It’s the Leader’s Job
• The effective leader will not only initiate the connection with the employee/team, s/he will also intentionally maintain it. Contrast this to the leader who feels like since it is s/he on top, others need to go to him/her.
• If you want someone on your side, don’t try to convince that person..try to connect with him/her.
• Never underestimate the power of making connections/building relationships. Since, when done sincerely, it will breed loyalty and a strong work ethic. Your vision will become their aspiration.
• “To lead yourself, use your head. To lead others, use your heart.”

Applying the Law of Connection to Your Life
1. Connecting with yourself means knowing and liking yourself. Assess this by measuring your self awareness. Answer the following questions:
a. How would I describe my personality?
b. What is my greatest character strength?
c. What is my greatest character weakness?
d. What is my single greatest asset?
e. What is my single greatest deficit?
f. How well do I relate to others (1-10)?
g. How well so I communicate with others?
h. How likable am I (1-10)?
Now, ask three people who know you well to answer them and compare. If there is a significant difference, then you have a blind spot that you need to overcome. Enlist a mentor or accountability partner to help you become more self aware, value your strengths and deal with your weaknesses.

2. Move through the crowd slowly. Before getting down to business, take a few minutes to connect relationally with your team members/employees. It does take time, but likely just a few minutes [will take more time with new people, as you get to know them]. But the payoff is huge and makes the workplace a better place.

3. Good leaders are good communicators. On a scale of 1-10, how effective a public speaker are you? If lower than an 8, you need to improve. Read books on communication and practice the skills. If you do not have opportunity at work, then volunteer.

Reference:
Maxwell, John. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Chapter 10- The Law of Conncection. Thomas Nelson, Nashville, TN; 2007